Okay, I'm not going to be very polite today.  This is a big problem.  Some of our parents are a pain to work with, get along with and deal with.  In other words, they're high maintenance.

I recently read a forum comment from a woman whose mom is so difficult her own church group called the daughter  for help.

That's bad, but every congregation has  a person like that.  No matter what you do for them, it isn't enough. 

Part of the problem is these people are miserable.  So if others are not sharing their misery, they will make certain that will change.

I think a deeper aspect of it is people like this are not always thinking straight.  Whatever those thorns or difficulties were in their personalities when they were younger become magnified as they grow older. That's why the golden years are not always so golden.

So what do you do if you find yourself trying to care for a difficult parent like that?

The suggest made was to hire a  "house cleaner" who doesn't clean house.  This person is actually a companion.  That may be all the parent needs.  The parent is probably lonely and childish and if someone was there to take her out every once in a while and to listen to her complain, a lot of pressure is removed.

Of course, you don't want to come out and  tell your  parent you have hired a companion for them.  And the reason why you had to do it was because no one in their right mind will do the work for free, including the people at church.

However, here's where love is really put to the test.

Try to get to the bottom of the problem.  It may be a form of dementia and your parent may actually not be thinking right. Try to find out if there is a physical cause.  Then give extra love.

I know what you're thinking.  It's easy for me to write this. 

Actually, it isn't. 

What we're doing  is never easy, but there are reasonable solutions.   

Popularity: 6% [?]

• Aging Parents' Real Estate Crisis: Will It Happen To You? There is an increasingly alarming real estate crisis affecting aging parents. Some elderly are losing their homes to foreclosure.  This puts more strain upon their children. But realtor Rebecca Skane raises another bombshell. How do you manage two households- your own and that of your aging parents? This can sometimes......
• What About the Emotional Toil of Eldercare? There is plenty of emotional toil that comes with elder care.  Your parents are depending more upon you not just physically, but emotionally.  It can be a big burden. Care givers often state they don't feel like they have a life of their own anymore.  And for good reason.  If......
• The Real Debate of the Health Care Debate President Obama may take the government run health care option off the table and some have interpreted that as a major concession. But is it? Will the President bring this option back later in the form of bits and pieces in other bills? What exactly is his plan, or was his plan? Why......
• n
  nnn

  Protecting our elderly is " title="womanspying height=132 alt="" src="http://agingparentsauthority.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/womanspying.jpg" width=200/>n

  nnn

  Protecting our elderly is " border=0>Why We Protect Our Elderly Protecting our elderly is becoming a passion for many of us.  Maybe it's too late for some seniors who have already become victims of scams or eldercare predators, but we can do a tremendous amount of good as we work together to stop future elder abuse. I was heartened to read......

• 6 Tips for Keeping Your Aging Parents Safe from a Mall Shooter Yesterday was very emotional for many of us.Right after finishing the post on crimes against our elderly, I headed out to Cool Springs Mall  in Nashville, with my Mom to buy candy for a gingerbread house.It was a good outing.  She seemed to enjoy it, and  there were  lots of  happy......

• The Pros and Cons of Universal Health Care in the United States  This is a follow-up to my series last year, Universal Healthcare Week.  My posts on the pros and cons of a universal health care system continue to be popular pages on Weakonomics so I thought I'd touch on the subject again.  For a quick refresh, universal health care is a......
• The Size Of Your House Matters... But Not Like We Are Made To Think It Does. The following is a guest post by Nan Fischer, a Certified EcoBroker specializing in green real estate in Taos, NM. Check out her website www.nanfischer.com, and follow her on Twitter for a daily green news feed, www.twitter.com/nan_fischer. Nan writes about green building, solar energy and the environment on her blog,......
• Care Killed The Cat My mind feels alive when I am curious, seeking and exploring ideas. Yet I have been warned that my intellectual curiosity may get me in trouble. I would warn against believing that warning. In the case of ones marked curiosity, I have never met a really curious person who isn’t......
• Learning the Rope Tow Before you can learn how to ski, you’ve got to learn how to get to the top of the mountain. While the widespread use of chair lifts has made this a lot easier, many mountains still use rope tows, especially on beginner areas. They may look like simple contraptions, but......
• Be the Guide I have zillions of questions about parenting. You are the seeking child. You are the loving little boy or girl. You just need to help the child out of the whole. You were good and learned what you were taught. Now be good to yourself.  Be the guide you didn’t......