A TSA  Agent  recently told Pittsburgh News KDKA that “TSA officers don’t like the new aggressive pat-down of passengers either.”

He adds, “I truly feel that it is morally and ethically wrong to do it.”

Here’s  why some of us also think it’s wrong.

1. Could possibly be in violation of the 4th Amendment. 

We are not a police state.  According to the Constitution you can not take a person off the street and strip search him without  probable cause.  Why are seniors who have had hip replacements and knee replacements being targeted?  That is also happening according to the agent.  Since when is an elderly grandmother visiting her grandchildren a threat to national security?

2. Could the aggressive touching of passengers in areas where they do not want to be touched  possibly be considered a form of  sexual assault?

 The agent  states  “If you do it properly, you’re not touching the genitalia. But there is so much room for error, that’s where the problem comes because you’re in such close proximity of the areas that you are checking, it could happen.” 

It should not happen.  Period.

3. Exactly how are the x-ray machines being calibrated, or are we not supposed to ask? 

Do we know for certain that all the machines are calibrated correctly?  What happens if a mistake is made and a pregnant woman receives too much radiation?

What then?

4. What about the public revelation of a person’s private medical condition? 

We all know the horror story of 61-year old Thomas Sawyer, a bladder cancer survivor.  Could this be in violation of  HIPPA?  Why is it doctor’s offices have to tread so carefully with HIPPA and airport personal do not? In case you haven’t read about the public display of  Mr. Sawyer’s condition, here is the link to his story. 

5. Lastly, if these machines and pat-downs are so important for national security, why were the machines mysteriously turned off in many airports last week, during the Thanksgiving rush season?

Could that have been in response to the public’s complaints?  Or did the TSA suddenly receive the all clear signal?

There are lots of problems and questions about the new security measures.  Please note those of us who are questioning the wisdom and practicality of it all are not advocating passengers not be searched.  We are simply asking why other means  can not be explored.

There is always someone in the family who is left without a chair when the music stops; only this isn’t a children’s game.  It’s real life and it can sometimes be raw and unforgiving. So you’re the person without the chair.  How can you cope?

Here are some tips that come from experiences I have had during the last six months.  As many of you know 2010 has been a devilish year.  A lot of us are looking forward to New Year’s just for the idea of not having to think about 2010 anymore.  It has been that bad.

Many people our ages have lost their jobs. Some of us have dealt with natural disasters, such as the flood we had in Middle Tennessee last May.  Still, we preserve because we have to.  Our care giving goes on 24/7 whether we get help from other family members or not.

1. Caregiving for the elderly is temporary

We forget this, but it’s true.  It won’t last forever.  It can’t. 

I was reminded of this recently while taking my parents out to lunch at Logan’s Roadhouse near the new Vanderbilt Medical Outpatient Facility. I was feeling sorry for myself until a family sat down at the next table.  They had a handicapped child who was in a large stroller.  The child slept through most of the meal as I watched the proud mother stoke the child lovingly.  She may have decades of caregiving ahead of her but she wasn’t complaining.

This also brings up the point there will always be someone worse off than you.  However, in this case, I sensed this mother was counting her blessings.  Her real life angel was resting peacefully  and you really can’t explain that kind of contentment.  

2. Ask for help

Okay, this is the hard part. 

Ask those family members who are “too busy for _____ reasons” to pitch in.  Give them assignments.  Take leadership.

Here’s a sample conversation.

You: “I need someone to stop by and to take Dad to the doctor.  His appointment is for Friday at 8 AM. ”

Brother:  Uh, okay.  I think  I’ll be in town.  I’ll have to rearrange my schedule and you know I’m going to Atlanta, Detroit and maybe  the lake this week. I’ll check with my secretary.”

You: That’s just one of the doctor’s appointments.  I’ve got to take Mother to the eye doctor, Daddy to the skin doctor and I’ve got to go to the dentist.”

Brother:  “Really? All that in one week?”

You: We have to schedule everything in the mornings because Daddy is stronger in the mornings.  He has trouble walking in the afternoons.  You need to talk to the doctor about that.  Plus go over Daddy’s Vitamin D levels and ask about increasing the Calcium and what’s involved with the echocardiogram.  That test will take 2 hours, so give yourself plenty of time.”

Brother: “Maybe I’d better write all of this down.”

You: “Good idea.  There’s a lot to keep up with.”

I know it is not so easy, especially when your brother or sister puts you on voice mail or you have to go through their secretary, but be persistent.  At least you can make them feel guilty.  You can also point out many of the tasks that go into caregiving. 

Because the household is running smoothly, mainly from your efforts, siblings may get the impression it is easy.  Don’t lecture them.  Just assign.  It will be much more effective.

3. Take  up a hobby or do something for yourself

I didn’t think this was important, but I’ve changed my mind.  You’ve got to get your mind off of caregiving, if only for a few hours.  It may help you maintain your sanity through all of this.

Pick a hobby that doesn’t require a lot of expense.  In today’s economic climate you don’t need to take up a craft that will require thousands of dollars.  Keep it simple and fulfilling.  Gardening is good because you  won’t have to spend a lot and it will give you some exercise too.

4.  Remember the Big Picture

You have a big goal.  You want to care for your aging parents.  You want them to be safe, comfortable and possibly as happy as they can be during their last years.   It’s very important because when it is all over, and it will be, you don’t want to be burdened with guilt.

There will be a quiet Sunday afternoon sometime in your future.  It may or may not be raining.  You will be sitting with your thoughts.  Because you cared and you served your parents daily, hourly, you won’t be haunted with regrets.  That may, or may not be true for that brother or sister who didn’t call, stop by or help when things got rough.

 You’ll be the one getting the credit where it counts- from God.

The 22-year old motorist grew angry and blocked the older man’s car.  Then he opened the door, cursed the senior and spat upon him.

This is very disturbing.  It shows the vulnerability of our seniors.  It also demonstrated disrespect some young people have toward the elderly.  We don’t know what happened to cause the younger driver to lose his temper, but matters grew worse with the verbal/ spitting attack.

We need to protect our aging parents from experiencing this kind of behavior.  One way to do that is to keep them off the road as much as possible.  If they must drive, don’t drive during peak traffic hours such as school openings and closings. 

Elderly Road Rage Incident 

This case is disturbing from several angles.  The first, of course, is that someone can be fired over a decade before retirement because they are considered too old for the position.  54 is not ancient, when people are now  living well beyond their eighties.

“Not being a good cultural fit” is also a concern because that is a broad statement by Google and could, frankly, mean almost anything. 

Google is a young firm run by young people.  It is a strange place that has been phenomenally successful.  This blog has spent a lot of time planning to please the giant search engine.  If you play the game right, you get the traffic.  If you don’t, you’ll languish without an audience.  That’s life on the Internet in 2010.  Okay, we accept that.

However, if another 54 year-old could give some advice to these youngsters, here is what I would tell them.

You’ll be in your fifties before you can turn around.  It will hit you fast.  You’ll be in shock the first time a grocery clerk tells you to “come back Wednesday for Senior Day.” Gray is  coming.  Get ready.

Next, who says a 54 year-old is all washed up?  Many people in their fifties, who have been snubbed and thrown out of their jobs, are now on the Internet making more money than they did before in their old jobs.  That’s also consolation for anyone finding themselves out of a corporate world livelihood.  There are other solutions for earning money and the best revenge is success.

Finally, have we become a nation that can throw people away because of their age?  This is particularly scary as we face the rationing of health care.  This issue goes much farther than a Google spat at the office.  A nation will be partially  judged morally  on how it views its elderly.  People are not dispensable. 

When you read the article about the firing, pay attention to the readers’ comments.  That’s where the real golden nuggets of information are because it shows how people really think.   

Read Age Biased Lawsuit Against Google