1. Take care of yourself

Having a heart attack because you’re overworked will not help your parents.  Eat right, go for a walk, make sure you get enough sleep.  If you’re run down, you won’t be able to help them anyway.  Keep your own health and don’t allow tough caregiving to destroy it.

2. Get help from family

Okay, this is the hard one.  You’re thinking why me?  Why can’t they see I need help?  Why can’t they do some of the simplest things?

Truth is they may not be able to handle it emotionally.  That’s something to consider.  You may have a 6’2″ brother who can’t stand the thought of his mother being helpless.  Try to look at it from the other person’s perspective.

However, that doesn’t let them totally off the hook.  Everyone in the family should pull his or her own weight.  Tactfully speak to your sibling and ask for help.  Remind them your mother or father is their parent also.  Get the point across, that care giving will not last forever.  They don’t want any regrets on a cold rainy Sunday afternoon after it’s all over.

3. Talk about your feelings

You’re going through a lot.  You’re exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally.  Dealing with a mom with dementia can get on your nerves.  Let’s be honest about that.

You need a friend you can call.  You need to be able to tell the friend what you’re feeling without the guilt.  Get those feelings out.  Don’t keep them bottled up inside.  If you’re angry at a brother or sister, say it – to your friend.  Then ask the person to help you come up with peaceful working solutions.

This is therapy and it’s amazing what a cup of coffee or a simple phone call can do for you.

Caregiving is hard and is 24/7.  It’s not for the faint hearted.  It’s for people who will take the challenge and run the course. One basic fact we all need to remember is caregiving is temporary.  It won’t last forever.  Make the most if it now so you will not have regrets after it is finally over.

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Aging in place is becoming a popular alternative for retirement.  It is a good alternative for retirement homes and communities because it helps allow seniors to stay in the community where they really want to be.

Many seniors like the idea of staying near their old neighborhoods and families and actually want to be around younger people.  They don’t want the isolation of retirement communities which have been popular in the past.  Today’s seniors are active and more involved in their communities, and  aging in place gives them the option of retrofitting their homes for their needs.  That may involve such innovations as hand rails in baths and larger doorways for wheelchairs.

Read An Old Age Home Of Your Own

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Dementia caregivers may also be at risk for dementia according to a new study.

The study involved over 1200 Utah couples where one was caring for a spouse with dementia.  It was discovered the caregiver has a six times greater risk of developing dementia than a person who is not caregiving.

Why?

The reasons are unknown and there is much speculation.  Stress could be the number one factor which proves there is a lot of stress associated with care giving those loved ones stricken with dementia.

Read Dementia caregivers more likely to get the disease

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It is certainly difficult to bring up such subjects especially if your parents do not want to talk about them.  However, plans must be made and should be done while your parents are still able to comprehend and discuss these subjects.

Elder Law Answers has a very good post on how to do this.  For example,  advice is given on how to approach your parents and where to have the discussion which would be in your parents’ home.

Read Dad Can We Talk?

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