Not discussing plans with your aging parents about their future is the biggest and most costly error you will ever make as a caregiver. In fact, many people put off the vital decisions concerning their parents'  independence and wishes until there is a crisis. 

Caregiving experts advise not to wait until times of stress to discuss such matters as finances, nursing needs, daily care and driving with your parents.

Often when the crises arrives it is too late to reason with your parents.  Your aging parents may not be able to talk with you or may resent your actions as perceived meddling.   As you approach your elderly parent, he may not cooperate with you, and will instead tell you he's alright and doesn't need help.  Your frustration can mount as you realize he's clearly wrong.

How can you avoid such  difficult and awkward scenarios?

Pay close attention to your parents' needs

As they age, be on top of the changes.  Approach them tactfully when you notice they are having trouble seeing or driving, food is spoiling in the refrigerator, or the once immaculate household  is now messy and unkempt.    These are signals that your parents will soon need more of your help, whether they ask for it or not.

Make long term care plans with your parents before the need arises

You want to know their wishes and that  their estate planning has been done correctly. This will most likely involve a lawyer.

Make sure the will, trusts, durable power of attorney for finances and durable power of attorney for health care have been decided well in advance.

Keep track of all necessary documents and records so that you, or any other chosen family member, will be able to take over quickly when it becomes necessary.

Taking care of the major caregiving decisions concerning your aging parents'  future  and independence can relieve everyone involved.  It can take tremendous stress out of a situation which would otherwise escalate  out of control.  This will keep your family working together harmoniously. It will also go a long way toward giving you and your parents the confidence and courage to get the most out of their later years.   

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