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When Taking Care of an Aging Parent Becomes Exhausting

By admin on Jun 25, 2010 in Care

Taking care of your aging parents is becoming exhausting. How can you cope? What are some of the things you can do to regain a small piece of your own life? How do you deal with it all emotionally? Here are some tips.

1. Take care of yourself

Having a heart attack because you’re overworked will not help your parents. Eat right, go for a walk, make sure you get enough sleep. If you’re run down, you won’t be able to help them anyway. Keep your own health and don’t allow tough caregiving to destroy it.

2. Get help from family

Okay, this is the hard one. You’re thinking why me? Why can’t they see I need help? Why can’t they do some of the simplest things?

Truth is they may not be able to handle it emotionally. That’s something to consider. You may have a 6’2″ brother who can’t stand the thought of his mother being helpless. Try to look at it from the other person’s perspective.

However, that doesn’t let them totally off the hook. Everyone in the family should pull his or her own weight. Tactfully speak to your sibling and ask for help. Remind them your mother or father is their parent also. Get the point across, that care giving will not last forever. They don’t want any regrets on a cold rainy Sunday afternoon after it’s all over.

3. Talk about your feelings

You’re going through a lot. You’re exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally. Dealing with a mom with dementia can get on your nerves. Let’s be honest about that.

You need a friend you can call. You need to be able to tell the friend what you’re feeling without the guilt. Get those feelings out. Don’t keep them bottled up inside. If you’re angry at a brother or sister, say it – to your friend. Then ask the person to help you come up with peaceful working solutions.

This is therapy and it’s amazing what a cup of coffee or a simple phone call can do for you.

Caregiving is hard and is 24/7. It’s not for the faint hearted. It’s for people who will take the challenge and run the course. One basic fact we all need to remember is caregiving is temporary. It won’t last forever. Make the most if it now so you will not have regrets after it is finally over.