Your Most Painful Caregiving Mistake
By admin on Feb 28, 2008 in Care
Not discussing plans with your aging parents about their future is the biggest and most costly error you will ever make as a caregiver. In fact, many people put off the vital decisions concerning their parents’ independence and wishes until there is a crisis.
Caregiving experts advise not to wait until times of stress to discuss such matters as finances, nursing needs, daily care and driving with your parents.
Often when the crises arrives it is too late to reason with your parents. Your aging parents may not be able to talk with you or may resent your actions as perceived meddling. As you approach your elderly parent, he may not cooperate with you, and will instead tell you he’s alright and doesn’t need help. Your frustration can mount as you realize he’s clearly wrong.
How can you avoid such difficult and awkward scenarios?
Pay close attention to your parents’ needs
As they age, be on top of the changes. Approach them tactfully when you notice they are having trouble seeing or driving, food is spoiling in the refrigerator, or the once immaculate household is now messy and unkempt. These are signals that your parents will soon need more of your help, whether they ask for it or not.
Make long term care plans with your parents before the need arises
You want to know their wishes and that their estate planning has been done correctly. This will most likely involve a lawyer.
Make sure the will, trusts, durable power of attorney for finances and durable power of attorney for health care have been decided well in advance.
Keep track of all necessary documents and records so that you, or any other chosen family member, will be able to take over quickly when it becomes necessary.
Taking care of the major caregiving decisions concerning your aging parents’ future and independence can relieve everyone involved. It can take tremendous stress out of a situation which would otherwise escalate out of control. This will keep your family working together harmoniously. It will also go a long way toward giving you and your parents the confidence and courage to get the most out of their later years.
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Tags: Care, aging parents independence, caregiving for the elderly, caregiving gone wrong, make a plan for long distance caregiving, reflective caregiving
5 Comment(s)
By Richard Day on Feb 28, 2008 | Reply
Very good information here - especially the part about getting trusts, and other agreements in place while they are able to grapple with these concepts. It is incredible how quickly their abilities diminish as time passes.
By Rowell on Feb 29, 2008 | Reply
This is the type of article every human soul should read. As a caregiver myself, I am reminded again and again that people can grow old gracefully if we understand, realise and support that difference brought about by the aging process, for which we ourselves have to go through one day…
Rowell’s last blog post..The Advantages Of Skin Care Organic Products
By Zandria on Feb 29, 2008 | Reply
What sage advice.
I know how important it is to talk to the people we love about their wants and needs especially the older ones. Trust me it makes a huge difference if you ever have to deal with the pain of losing them.
Zandria’s last blog post..Keep It In Your Pants!
By Brennan Kingsland on Feb 29, 2008 | Reply
Too often, the elderly are treated as of less worth, especially if they have any diminishment of capacities.
Treating aging parents with respect involves allowing their feelings to be taken into consideration.
Brennan Kingsland’s last blog post..Deadly Choking Games
By mmorpg on Mar 10, 2008 | Reply
Good read..my parents mean too much to me not to think about it and start planning for the future.